Up Your Alley Vanvouver

An image in the latest Macy's catalogue mailed to consumers (and unavailable online) includes a wedding cake with two grooms on top in the back of a car with a licence plate that reads "I Do." A group affiliated with the American Family Association has called for the retailer to remove the image, saying it's "an irresponsible choice that is highly offensive and not family-friendly advertising. Just because gay marriage is legal in a few states does not mean that it's appropriate marketing."

But Macy's isn't backing down and told Fox News, "Macy's proudly serves a large and diverse marketplace, including customers with a wide range of needs and preferences. We strive to embrace customers of all ethnic backgrounds, ages, races, faith traditions, genders and lifestyles through the products we sell and the content of our marketing. Our goal is to be inclusive. Not everything we sell or do will appeal to everyone, but that is the nature of a free society where consumers can make choices of their own."

Good to know that unlike the American Family Associations and its affiliates, Macy's has some class.

I love animals because, as a gay man, I relate to them. They're often misunderstood and mistreated by society. Every time I think about an animal caged in a zoo or forced to perform tricks at a circus, I think of all the gay people trapped inside themselves and the many who feel forced to "perform" for the world as something other than who they truly are. That's why I think it's important to be a voice for animals, because like our community for so long, their needs have gone unheard.

The Canadian seal hunt is a barbaric and embarrassing stain on Canada's legacy. A hugely controversial event where thousands of baby and adult seals are beaten to death by clubs, it is an outdated tradition that is viewed as a disgrace by most countries around the world. Recently Russia, the biggest buyer of seal skins, has closed their border to the pelts, threatening the future of the once-lucrative industry. Last year's seal hunt grossed only $1 million. A member of Canada's Parliament recently said:

"Part of our history is also whaling, for example, and the day came when the whaling industry stopped. Now, is that day coming for the seal hunt? It just may be. We cannot hide behind the debate and pretend the market for seals is not in trouble. Facing this reality head-on is the only way to address the situation."

If you want to help make the seal hunt history, sign the petition. Quick and easy.

If we don't support the voiceless, why do we deserve to be heard? 

Rosie O'Donnell's whirlwind romance with Michelle Rounds started in line at a Starbucks in Miami just a few months ago, but the couple are already engaged, and now Rosie confirms they're also trying to get pregnant. In an interview with Dr Oz on The Rosie Show, she told the doctor, "She [Michelle] is trying to get pregnant." 

A source tells US Weekly, "Michelle is seeing a fertility doctor. She is really excited and they cannot wait to add to their family. Rosie goes to all her doctor's appointments with her and is really supportive."

The couple plans to marry this year, with all four of Rosie's children taking part in the ceremony. 

When I tried to kill myself (yeah, I'm bringing that one out of the bag -- just check out this issue of Xtra's Blitz & Shitz), my mother was in New York City. When she returned, and I came back to life (after three days of wildly traumatizing anti-psychotic overdose-induced hallucinations), she gave me a souvenir -- a drawing of Madonna by a street artist outside Central Park. It's a picture from Madonna's Ray of Light album. The look in her eyes evokes independence. I often look at it to motivate myself. I have taken it with me everywhere I've lived, from my bedroom growing up in the Prairies, to every rat- and cockroach-infested hell hole I inhabited in New York, to here on the West Coast. It's one of my most cherished possessions because it represents my rebirth. When I was a confused and angst-ridden 15-year-old, Madonna made me feel there was hope. She was this scrawny little bitch from nowhere, yet she made her dreams come true, helping me believe I could too.

Her entire life Madonna has been a part of the gay community. Her first mentor was her gay ballet teacher, Christopher Flynn, who inspired her to move to New York in the late '70s. The new issue of The Advocate celebrates her legacy as a part of our culture. We're the ones sacrificing those $300 dollar handbags (or in my case, food) to see her perform live (because she's worth it).

On the beginning of the AIDS epidemic in '80s New York: "I was extremely affected by it. I remember lying on a bed with a friend of mine who was a musician, and he had been diagnosed with this kind of cancer, but nobody knew what it was. He was this beautiful man, and I watched him kind of waste away, and then another gay friend, and then another gay friend, and then another gay friend. They were all artists and truly special and dear to me."

On her gay fans feeling abandoned: "I never left them. When you're single, you certainly have more time to socialize and hang out with your gay friends, but then you get married and you have a husband and you have children, and your husband wants you to spend time with him. I'm not married anymore, but I have four kids, and I don't have a lot of time for socializing. I hope nobody's taking that personally. It certainly was not a conscious decision. As it stands, most of my friends in England are gay. But I'm back. Never fear."

Stephanie Fortier and Peter Wohlgemut, two teachers at an Altona, Manitoba, school, completed training at the Rainbow Resource Centre as part of a provincial professional development day. For their participation in the course, the teachers received cards pledging their support for gay and lesbian youth. Here's what the cards said:

As an Ally, I envision a society that embraces, values and celebrates diverse sexual orientations, gender identities and gender expressions. As an Ally, I support lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, Two-Spirit, intersex, queer and questioning individuals, families and communities. As an Ally, I work towards a more aware, affirming, safe and open work environment in both policy and practice. As an Ally, I acknowledge that creating a safe space is an unwavering process that requires productive commitment, re-assessment and dedication. As an Ally, I am committed to the elimination of homophobia, biphobia, transphobia and heterosexism as well as other forms of oppression. I participated a Rainbow Resource Centre LGBTT Ally Training session and completed ___ hours of training in the year.

More than 15 parents have demanded that the teachers remove the cards from their classes. "I would like to have the choice to teach my children about these words and what they mean," Peter Sawatzky, one of the opposing parents, wrote to the school board. Did I mention that the classrooms in question are for fifth-grade students? Now, I grew up in the Manitoba educational system, and the first time another student called me "gay" and a "faggot" I was in kindergarten. Granted, he was older than me, but only by a few grades. So I'm terribly sorry, Mr Sawatzky, but when exactly were you planning on teaching your snotty-nosed little brats what "these words" mean? You're not naive, just stupid, to think that at 11 years old they don't already know. Have you picked up a newspaper and read about any (yes, as in more than one!) 9-year-olds who killed themselves because they were being taunted by their peers over their perceived sexuality? Wake the fuck up. If we waited for every half-witted parent to teach their kids some common decency and respect, we'd be tormented for the rest of time with stories of youth killing themselves, and each other. Yes, it should be up to parents. But parents are failing, so it's the moral responsibility of schools to step in.

Bravo to Fortier and Wohlgemut for taking action to create a more peaceful and caring environment for their students. Somebody has to do it, before there are no more students left to teach. 

As a result of the backlash, the Border Land School Division has instructed the teachers that they may display only the top part of the cards showing the word "Ally."

The school division is now officially an ally of . . . wait for it . . . keep waiting . . . oh shit, that's it. 

Okay, these crazy bitches at the American Family Association are a bulimic's dream. Toothbrushes are so 20th century; if you need help up-chucking your Happy Meal, turn to One Million Moms, an AFA affiliate. First the AFA tried to intimidate Macy's because of a photo of two grooms on a wedding cake (check out the post below), but now One Million Moms Psychos is attacking JC Penney because it has hired Ellen DeGeneres as a spokeswoman and, gasp, oh no way -- she's a lesbian.

Honestly, these people are so fucking stupid. Fighting homosexuality is the definition of insanity -- doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result. Obviously, fighting us isn't working out too well, since we still exist. It's crazy! Fighting homosexuality is fighting nature, a nature that is found in more than 450 species. I mean, really? Wake the fuck up, people. It's a losing battle! You're sad, pathetic and out of touch to think otherwise.

These crazy skankwads had this to say about JC's choice to hire Ellen: "Funny that JC Penney thinks hiring an open homosexual spokesperson will help their business when most of their customers are tradition families. DeGeneres is not a true representation of the type of families that shop at their store. The majority of JC Penney shoppers will be offended and choose to no longer shop there."

Listening, but all I hear is, "I'm a dumb cunt, my husband's fucking his secretary, and all I do is shop all day because I'm a suburban waste of space living vicariously through my children (and don't tell anyone, but secretly, I love Ellen and watch her every day while sipping my first -- okay fourth -- G&T of the day)."